World Goes On

Download World Goes On (feat. Bruno Mars) - David Guetta

David Guetta releases yet another fucking mindblowing song, and though it may not be an optimal DP tune, it is sure to get the party started. Whenever I hear it I cannot help but think back to the scene in American Wedding when Stifler has the dance off with the gay bear, which is possibly the greatest scene in any movie. Guetta has always had the ability to tune into women's minds and get them in the mood through his music, and World Goes On is no different. The combination of the piano and electronica to start off the song is phenomenal, and Bruno Mars has an out of this world voice. It was a fucking joke, Mars - out of this world, I'm clever I already fucking know. This shit gets me hot, just like watching Tiger Woods hug his father, the late Earl Woods, after winning the '97 Masters. It brings me to tears every time I watch it. You better not bullshit me about how he is a bad husband and all that, he is a fucking boss who went through some though times. And in those though times he banged an unbelievable amount of chicks, bravo Tiger. I hope Andy North devotes all of his talking time during the Masters to Tiger, because it would probably do him good considering he wouldn't have to try to make up stuff and pretend he knows a fucking thing about golf. Good luck Tiger, we are all behind you.

The Golden Days

Download Still the Hottest (feat. J. Cole) - Young Chris

I don't really know what it is about this song, but it brings me back to the good old days, where people actually thought that dude Fonzie was a cool guy, now I would hardly even consider him a legitimate human being. Anyone who fucking thinks the thumbs up is that cool a gesture is surely mistaken, luckily Rocket Power learned from the mistake and invented the Woogity Woogity, fucking genius. And that isn't even the best of it, shoobie is an insult everybody should have in their arsenal, you don't have to know what it means, just tell people it's the cool way to say faggot. Back to the glory days, aka 1960-1685 (roughly), this was what most historians would consider America's Golden Age. It all began when Neil Diamonds uttered those words Sweet Caroline, and we fucking took off from there. I would give just as much credit to whoever inserted the dun dun dun and so good, so good, so good in the chorus, because that's what really gets everybody into it, I get jacked out of my mind just thinking about it (a quote from Fred Claus, a great fucking movie.) Old people talk about how bad of times these decades were, but any time you can get fucked up on acid with all your buds and know that it doesn't matter because all the cops in the station you just drove by are also probably getting fucked up, you've hit the jackpot. Add that to the introduction of Monday Night Football, what more could you ask for. Sure Vietnam probably fucking sucked, but I didn't have to deal with it so I don't give a shit. We are the smart ones, coming after the shitstorm and yet still experiencing the times by embracing all the the good things that came out of it. Fucking rock and roll.

Weezy Doesn't Have the Cup

Download Carter Chronicles

Though I may not be a fan of Lil Wayne, I know the large majority of the white, private school kids of the world still praise him because, as I have said, white people think everything black people do is cool. So here it is, the newest Carter Chronicles, your probably getting amped at this point because you favorite black person in the world aka Weezy has released yet another incoherent mixtape that you can blast in your car so everybody looks at you, fucking sluts. Forget about that, there are more important matters to be discussed, the fucking Mennen Cup. Now if you don't know what the Mennen Cup is then go turn on your TV and watch Women's PBA bowling you pussy, because you don't belong here. After the '09 boys brought us the Cup last year, we have all been thirsting for another taste. But this year we knew it wouldn't come easy, we would have to be even more obnoxious and inappropriate then in years past. Do I care that the ref could potentially penalize us if I make an inappropriate comment directed at him? No, so I'm gonna tell him that he has ED, because I don't give a fuck and it's his fault he can't get it up. His wife is probably on youporn fucking Lex Steele because her joke of a husband can't get lead in his pencil. Fucking loser. But it's not just about insults, chanting is one of the greatest inventions known to man. Chanting at an opposing playing that "Your a PUSSY" is sure to turn heads, and probably embarrass him a bit. Since we all know fans can't be on the ice to throw a right hook at #21 who looks like he wants to toss a Crimson puck players salad, the second best thing to do is yell at him. We all know this same kid loves to go mud-sliding with that Puerto Rican creep who mows his lawn, so fucking tell him. Another fucking loser, game over, you win.